(opening shot on Jake. You hear a crab mallet banging. Jake looks over at Amir who has a bib on hitting a crab with a mallet)

Jake: What are you doing.

Amir: Uh, eating lunch, is that ok, OR IS IT NOT “LUNCH TIME!?!?”

Jake: It’s not. It’s 930 in the morning. What are you eating? Crabs?

Amir: Crabs, lobster, shrimp, anything with a shell.

Jake: Looks like just crabs.

Amir: Turtles.

Jake: How’d you get crabs?

Amir: That’s how she said.

Jake: How she said what.

Amir: A how-she says what?

Jake: You’re getting further away.

Amir: You’re a how-she.

Jake: I mean where did you get crabs from around here?

Amir: (hits crab with mallet again) From a guy outside, in front of the building.

Jake: You bought crabs from a guy in stand?

Amir: NO! I bought crabs from a guy in a truck?

Jake: Like a lunch truck?

Amir: Like a pick up truck? (Hits crab again) What’s with the third degree? CUZ IM LOVIN IT! curiosity is the glue that holds us together.

Jake: (sigh) You bought crabs from a total stranger with no concern of any foodborne illnesses?

Amir: NO I bought them with MONEY (Hits crab again)

Jake: I think you smashed the crab enough! You’re getting bits of shell and crab meat everywhere.

Amir: WELL IT’S STILL MOVING!!! (Hits crab again)

Jake: YOU BOUGHT LIVE CRABS!!! AND YOU BROUGHT THEM INTO THE OFFICE!!?!

Amir: I’m not going to eat these outside (BLEEPED CUSSWORD) (Lifts up paper bag, all these crabs fall out) OH NO.

Jake: Everybody tuck your pants into your socks!

Amir: And stuff the crabs into your pants and bring them back to me! Dead or alive! preferrably both!

Jake: How both?!

Amir: One of each! (as he if he just proved a point) OHHHH!!!!

Jake: You are not clever.

Amir: Clever like a cra–OUWWWCH! THERES ONE ON MY DI–
—-end——

emailed to us on June 4th, 2010

Filed under: — Stefan @ 9:10 am