On the way home from work the other day, a local church had put up a sign that said “God doesn’t take a vacation”. After reading it, I thought “What about Bruce Almighty?” That movie was all about God taking a vacation.
Now I’m sure some God lover would come back with, “Well, that was a movie. That doesn’t count”.
In which I would respond, “Well, didn’t GOD give someone the idea to write that movie, thus saying deep down, God wants to take a vacation?”
At this point, I like to assume the God Lover’s head would explode.
Well, even though we won the contest, there were a few rewrites by Jake and Amir, which is understandable and happens often in comedy when similar mind-sets work together. So I’m here to post the winning script, and the revised scripts so you can compare. Also the winning email notification and a photo they sent us during filming. This will probably be the only site you find these scripts on. Let me know your thoughts!
Someone offers you one of these frozen pieces of gross, you throw it in their face as hard as you can. Pick it up and hit’em again!
I made this pie last night (which took 45 minutes). Upon taking it out, my beautiful wife suggest we go to Bruster’s instead. In which I replied very calmly, “…fuck…yes”. So I let the pie cool over night in the fridge. Woke up this morning and thought “I’ll eat it for breakfast”. Brought it to work, nuked it and HATED IT. Beyond the grossest pie I ever had. Keep in mind I am a VERY big fan of pie. I gave this monstrosity several chances. Each bite just getting worse and worse. I got to the bottom crust and finally had enough. I am still burping and tasting in my mouth as I type this. This pie and “Great Value French Toast Sticks” have turned me off to Wal-Mart’s generic crap forever. I’ll still attempt Giant’s generic crap when I’m in a pinch, but Wal-Mart can bite my balls!
Once a day, I browse through Craigslist looking for new web jobs, writing gigs, TV gigs, ect in or around my area. Today I found this…
Mattress Inspector (Part Time)
We have an immediate opening for a PART TIME mattress inspector. Bedding experience helpful, but you will receive training. You will be responsible for managing your territory. Reliable transportation is mandatory. Must also be able to pass a background check and drug screening.
Over the weekend, I saw this documentary called “I Am Comic” on Showtime. If stand-up comedy interest you the slightest bit or you enjoy watching stand-ups, you need to check it out. Features Dave Attell, Tim Allen, Nick Kroll, Jim Gaffigan, Jeff Foxworthy and many more. Check it out